Donning my most professional demeanour, I attended a corporate meeting at Stockland HQ in the heart of Sydney, along with m’colleague Ash in the guise of Audience Productions. This was shortly before everyone took a fortnight off for Christmas and New Year’s, but the deadline for this job was tighter that a freelancer’s belt over that period. After translating the arcane and eldritch language used in that company in plain talkin’, I went away and wrote a short script that preached the benefits of a new way of doing things behind the scenes.
They knocked it back, pointing out a bunch of other things that needed to be included, so I carved out version two of the script…which was accepted well in time for talented animator Dave Cochrane to weave straw into gold.
(You’ll have to click over to Vimeo to watch it.)
Here’s a two-and-a-bit-minute video I wrote (and appeared in, in lieu of proper actors) for the ABC’s Fresh Blood competition late last year. We had no real expectation of winning any funding coin, but it served as a spur to get something done on a deadline.
Way back in the dark depths of 2006, when I was a fresh-faced fella with a dream in his heart and a burgeoning media career, I got the chance to write for The Chaser’s War On Everything. I submitted a lot of stunt ideas and scripts from my kitchen table, but only one made it to air. (To be fair, a lot of them were impractical.)
I would feel a lot better about claiming credit for “JB Hi-Fi Name & Shame” if I had actually had to do the hard part – the stunt itself – but since they gave me a Contributing Writer credit, I’ll swallow my humility and take it.
This wasn’t my only contribution to The Chaser’s televisual oeuvre – you can also see me manning phones in the background of 2004′s The Chaser Decides! OK fine, it isn’t really that exciting.
It would be nice if we both pretended I didn’t just spend ages screencapping this from my DVD copy.
[Title shamelessly lifted from Ernest Cline's excellent novel]
Here’s a partial list of things I wrote for ABC2′s Good Game. They’re all for the “Backwards Compatible” segment, which takes a look back across the history of a given topic in videogames. On each page is a link to the video of the segment, so you can see how the final product looked. Exciting!
Heroines: The first thing I did for Good Game, written in my bedroom on a laptop with many tabs opened to many different pages. When I saw the finished product on television, I nodded coolly at the screen, satisfied with their interpretation. And didn’t remotely squeal like a schoolgirl.
Boss Battles: This one came from me being in the actual office, once again playing the cool guy who high-fives everyone as he goes past and not gurgling with quiet happiness about being paid to write about videogames for actual television. A fun fact about this one was that I spent ages playing Mortal Kombat with an eye to capturing footage of me beating Shang Tsung. After innumerable deaths at the hands of Goro…I rewrote the script to reflect his badassery, which made it a lot better!
The Most Tasty Games: There’s an anecdote from the set of the Ocean’s 11 remake – Rusty eats in every scene because Brad Pitt was starving at the time he and director Steven Soderbergh were trying to come up with a visual hook for his character. Similarly, this subject matter sprouted from an ill-advised decision to skip breakfast that day.